Midnight Ball

Hey Guys!

Its Sunday, which means.. I can post whatever I want! So I'm going to talk about last night... I went to a dance!! So if you know me, you know I'm pretty clumsy, and also quite delirious. Well, I got there, we learned some things about God, (it was a church dance in Cedar Rapids) Then we had Little Cesar's  pizza, and then before I even knew it, it was time for the dance part of the evening. I had NEVER slow danced, and I was REALLY REALLY nervous and anxious for it, but my friend, (who is a guy) asked me to dance at the first slow dance, so he taught me to dance. I picked it up quickly, thanks to him. He was also nice and we talked while we danced. I am in LOVE with this guy. He's just the best, he can make me laugh, sing, dance, live... when all I want to do is be at home and sob. He is unlike any other boy I have had a crush on.. EVER. Everyone close to me says I say that about everyone, but what if I really mean it this time? What if this is the real deal... I guess it doesn't matter, right? He'll leave after his Senior year to go on a two year mission trip, where he'll forget all about me. I had the time of my life last night, dancing with him. He was also my partner for the last slow dance of the night. I don't even know how to feel guys, I just need someone to talk to me about it. He was dancing with me as a friend.  But.. its just so complicated. I see him as an older brother, but also as someone I would date. I love him. I don't want to tell him~ but I do. I've been rejected too many times to count and he means the world to me~ and I don't want to lose the bond I have with him now, I'm really confused. But anywhoooo the dance was fun, and I had a blast.

xoxoxox
Mads